The Peak of Inspiration

I am not really a writer.  But sometimes that’s what I need to be.  And right now, there’s something in my heart that wants to come out.  And this is the best way that I know of to set it free. 

According to science, humans are born with two fears.  The fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.  All other fears are learned, either by experience or by observation. 

I don’t know how it happens or where we first get it, but we all deal with a fear of rejection.  We fear being left alone.  We fear being the only one.  The one left standing after all the others have been chosen.  The one that doesn’t have it.  The one that can’t do it.  The one that finds out about the party – after the party. 

It’s a crippling fear.  It’s a fear that causes us to do irrational things.  It motivates us to ignore our values and principles.  We do things we don’t want to do.  We do things we shouldn’t do.   We believe the lies that are whispered to us.  That we must do the wrong thing to be in the right group.  That we must make our heart sad to make our mind happy.  And that we must disappoint God to please man.  That somehow the tradeoff will be worth it. 

It’s a sad cycle.  Sad because it is never enough.  You never arrive.  Not unlike a treadmill.  If you stop walking, you crash.  Keep moving and you remain upright, but never get anywhere. 

Maybe I’m too old to be relevant.  But I can promise you that I know what it feels like to be the one that isn’t.  I still have those feelings now and then.  I’ve also known what it is like to be the one that is.  And I can tell you that it doesn’t give you what you think it will.  

But what if we could squash that fear?  What if there was an antidote, a cure of sorts?  What if we knew, with absolute certainty, that we would never be rejected?  That we would never be alone?  That we would always have someone beside us, on our side?  Would it change the way we lived?  Would our choices be more rational?  Would our lives become stable?  Would we stop chasing and start enjoying?  Would right choices become easier, knowing that someone would defend us?

There’s another part to this story, and it’s kind of sad.  Sometimes your parents get a little blinded.  We don’t want you to be rejected either.  And so we let you do things that you shouldn’t.  We let ourselves be pushed by the crowd.  And for that, I am sorry.  I wish we were as strong as you think we are.   The fact is, we have fears too.  We don’t want to see you alone.  And sometimes we let our minds say yes when our heart is saying no.

I’m here to make a promise.  It’s one I believe I can keep.  I want you to know that whoever you are, whether you are one of my own, the daughter of a friend, the son of one of my peers, you are not alone.  Every time you need to make a right decision, every time you choose to listen to the quiet instead of the music, the times when you choose to stand when others are kneeling, please know this.  I am there with you.  I am on your side.  I support you.  “Well’, you say, ‘that doesn’t mean much to me”.  Maybe it doesn’t.  I don’t blame you.  But if it means a little, if it’s the feather that tips the scale of decision in the right direction, then I beg you to remember it.  I may not notice the choice you made, the choice to be simple, to be ordinary, to be average.  And if I do, I may not say anything.  Forgive me for that.  But know this.  Please know this.  You are not alone.  You have an ally.  In my eyes, you are a hero.  A warrior. 

And I will not let you fight alone.  And that’s a promise.